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Jocks And Finance Bros: Bachelorette First Impressions

Becca, I hope you favor jocks and finance bros.

If not, you’re shit out of luck.

Becca dates one athlete and they beat that one dating liking of her’s to death by casting 18 or so former athletes. Kind of like how they beat “Let’s Do The Damn Thing” tagline to death.

I shouldn’t be surprised, but I am.

A letter to the men on this season of The Bachelorette:

Do you think you deserve this goddess of a woman, Becca Kufrin? You probably don’t. You probably think too highly of yourself to know this.

Maybe two of you will be nice enough for her. Five of you may turn out to be decent people, but that’s me being generous. If it’s anything like JoJo’s season, we will have just one or two decent men. ABC producers, please don’t let me down. Oh wait, you already did with the super-short bios.

This season we have 25 28 men vying for Becca’s heart, or at least a blue checkmark on their Instagram page. At least one of you will g

A Robotic Work in Progress

hopeful-trekkie:

James T. Kirk:
-Graduated in the superior 4% of his year
-was bullied by jocks
-Is a history nerd
-was so much of a teacher’s pet that he cheated on an exam and was commended for it
-Was referred to as “a stack of books with legs”
Jean-Luc Picard:
-Spent all his free time drinking in pubs and playing billiards
-broke more hearts than he can remember
-started a bar fight that ended up in him being stabbed in the heart
-likes to explore hazardous ruins of ancient civilizations for playfulness
-wouldn’t even hold become a starship captain if he wasn’t this much of a hothead
And yet people still manage to acquire it backwards???

I consider it’s a challenge of First Officer, really.

Jim Kirk seems like a feral man because he’s standing next to calm, logical Spock.*

Meanwhile, Picard seems stately and dignified because he’s standing next to Will “Any alien physiology is bangable if you just put some consideration into it” Riker*.

* Of course THEN, we get to the next layer, which is that Spock is the dude who told the Vulcan Science Academy to fuc

Frat Boy Matt — Roots Changed

(All characters are 18+)

Ryan Thornton had always been the quiet, bookish kid. At 18, he was still the same timid, nerdy teenager who spent most of his moment buried in science fiction novels, comic books, and the occasional video game. Ryan had come to terms with his place in life: an outsider in high school, an openly gay teen with few friends and even fewer social opportunities. His world was small but comfortable, a safe short-lived bubble in the predominantly white suburb of San Diego where he’d lived his whole life.

But when his mom got a new job and the family moved across the city to a much more diverse, predominantly Latino neighborhood, Ryan didn’t understand what to expect. The change was jarring. The new school was favor nothing he’d known — crowded, full of force, and with a customs that felt loud and foreign. The kids here were different, the language they spoke, the way they dressed, the confidence they carried — it was all so much more alive than what Ryan was used to.

In the first few days, Ryan stayed under the radar. He was determined to fin

Shark jocks 🦈👀😏